It’s all a zero sum game, isn’t it? There’s only one pie, and everyone has to split it, right? For me to get a bigger slice, I have to take some pie from you.

Wrong!

Yet we act out fixed-pie thinking daily in our institutions, careers, and relationships.

We grade on a curve, even if most everyone in the class did well on the exam. Someone has to be at the bottom so another can be at the top. We can’t let too many people receive an A — or an F, for that matter.

How else will we label the smartest and dumbest?

We schmooze a client away from another company. We work hard to get one of the few raises that year. We compete against coworkers to get the credit and the sale and the face-time with the boss. If we get more market share, then our competitor gets less.

How else will we know who is the most successful?

We attack others to throw mud on them. We hope making them look bad makes us look good. One word — gossip. In order for us to feel good about ourselves, we have to make others feel awful. Oh well.

How else will we put ourselves on a platform?

Seth Godin’s book The Icarus Deception explains the difference between finite and infinite games. Finite games have one winner and many losers, like sports. They are competitive and driven by market share.

Infinite games have unlimited winners. They are cooperative and focus on learning and growth. Though some will have more to show from it, everyone has the ability to win. We do much better by helping each other. Each advancement by another player shifts the whole playing field forward.

Let’s start displacing finite games with infinite ones.

The man fed his large dog a can of dog food like normal. Like normal, the dog whimpered, requesting more food. The man was curious when the dog would stop eating if he kept giving it food.

The next day, the man conducted an experiment.

The large dog ate up his normal can of dog food. Testing the dog, the man put out another. The dog ate that can, too.

And another. And a fourth — yet the stuffed dog still wanted more food!

The dog was harming itself by getting its desires. The man confirmed the dog should not get what it wants, for what it wants is not good for it.

The man stopped the exercise out of love for his silly dog, who would have kept eating with no restraint.

What you want could be the worst thing for you.

I wanted to quit college so many times out of frustration with my studies. But I didn’t.

Wife and I wanted to buy a house which would have been a time and money pit — not to mention an anchor. It would have kept us from moving to be with family in dire times.

I wanted to stay at my old job and I dragged my feet while leaving. In retrospect, though, it was great for me to get fired, and it freed me to discover a career which fits my God-given shape much better.

You want things right now which will only do you harm.

And I pray you never get any of them.

One time while playing Settlers of Catan with friends, we all decided to introduce a variation. We had all played it many times and wanted to see what would happen if we changed one tiny detail.

Instead of hiding our cards from each other like normal, we left our cards face up on the table. Now everyone could see everyone else’s hands.

You might think we took advantage of this knowledge and exploited the opportunity to thwart your opponents. You might think the game was a wash. Or the end result was a landslide for one opponent who worked the system, gaining an unfair advantage.

You might be wrong.

When it was time to take another player’s card, I just took the one I wanted. Well, only kinda.

If I needed one of two different cards, I took the one which allowed him to accomplish his goal, and me to accomplish mine. We all played this way.

It was oddly synergistic, despite the competitive nature of the game.

You probably know by now this post isn’t about board games or cards.

It’s uncomfortable to be exposed and vulnerable to others. With no wall to hide behind. No ulterior motives.

However, when your integrity allows others to understand your intentions and actions, lasting trust develops.

Transparency is very scary (at first).

Yet it’s the only long-term strategy which really works.

Every time.

I am drawn to write. I have to write.

It is a pressure which builds up and must be released.

If I stopped writing, I would still need to write poems. Or journal. Or plan out a book in my mind. Or come up with dozens of fresh ideas every week. Or, if nothing else, write long, deep emails to close friends.

Eventually, it would build up until the energy explodes into a book or another blog or some other output.

It just comes out. It must.

If I make this sound easy at all, let me try again. Every word must be ripped thread by thread from my vulnerable non-conscious and seduced onto the page, if not forced there at gunpoint. There they are hacked into bits with machetes of reason and persuasion before they can stitched back together. Even then, every word is stirred over a fire and boiled down to only what supports the main point.

But why?

I am passionate about writing for your sake. Yes, even if you don’t read it. Even if no one ever reads these words, I will not move on. This is my outpost. My bent. My service to God and others. When I embrace my calling I live. When I avoid it, I die.

I crack the whip on myself each morning to find and funnel any wisdom I can find and leave hints of it here as breadcrumbs begging you down the path of growth.

It’s a bloody process.

Yet this process allows me to pump my fingers as pistons in an engine, churning thoughts into ideas and ideas into inspiration and inspiration into growth.

Which is really the reason why I’m here, typing away.

You.

My passion is to prepare these messages for you. To engage you in the thought process. To pull your comments from you. To grow alongside you.

This post is for you.

Even if you continue to fight your desire to learn. Even if you never care.

These words are here for you briefly. To guide you when you are ready to read them. To plant the seed of a new perspective. To move forward. To change in a good and pure way.

Just beware of the truth I cannot control.

The words will not wait for you very long.