Happiness is a lousy goal. It is a shifting bullseye, vanishing the moment we appear to hit it.

Forget about being happy. There are much better ways to spend your limited time than chasing the wind.

We are so absorbed in our “pursuit of happiness” syndrome to enjoy life. We think this product will not only solve our problems, but it will also make us happy.

Why can’t it just be a toaster? Why does the perfectly good toaster also have to bring you happiness?

Sheesh.

Maybe a new job will make you happy. Yes, changing scenery can help, but unless it is intentional it is just moving sideways. There is no lasting happiness there either.

Here’s a better idea. When was the last time you took a walk in the rain? We talk ourselves out of it because we will get wet or our hair will be a mess.

But it’s a wonderful feeling we miss out on because we are too busy looking for something to make us happy.

Our loss.

Better goals are loving, serving, and spending time with others. Learning a language. Reading a good book. Taking a nap on the porch once a week. Inviting over a friend for a meaningful talk. Watching the sunset instead of television. Stretching a whole bunch, just as my baby girl does when she wakes up. Writing a letter — remember those?

If only we’d stop trying to be happy, we could have a pretty good time.
– Edith Wharton

Forget happiness.

If you want to drive yourself crazy with envy, just imagine everything available that is better than what you own right now.

Your toaster is endlessly mediocre, for instance, and the best toaster ever made is out there somewhere. And that toaster is absolutely incredible and is just waiting for you to buy it after reading one hundred reviews online (just to confirm, of course).

Cars, looks, technology, trips, jobs, furniture — remember, the best possessions available are not possessed by you. Nearly anything can remind you how little you really own (in comparison to some ideal entity which apparently owns everything wonderful).

So then, what are the best things around?

Let’s find out. And maybe we can breed some contentment while we’re at it.

The best car is the one you drive anywhere you need to go.

The best camera is the one you take pictures with.

The best instrument is the one you practice (and play).

The best motorcycle is the one you ride.

The best job is the one you work hard at.

The best friend is the one you open up to.

See the pattern?

Now you try your own by leaving a comment in this pattern:

The best ________ is the one you ________.

It’s true. The best anything is not out there. It’s in your possession already.

At the end of the day, contentment is depends a bit on using your possessions as they were intended. Enjoying and maintaining them doesn’t hurt, either!

You come to a fork in the road on the journey of your life. One direction is easy, and the other is hard. You have to make a decision and take a path.

Do you choose the hard way, or the easy way?

Eventually, you will come back to the same fork in the road. Only this time, the direction you chose first is no longer available. Your only choice is the other path.

How do you feel about your first decision now?

There are two possible outcomes when applying this concept.

1. Easy Now, Hard Later

You choose short term gratification and delay inevitable hardship.

You’ve just graduated high school, but college is an overwhelming thought and you can’t decide on a trade you want to master. Instead, you find a job with hourly wages.

One day you have a wife and kids, and your job is limiting you. You need a degree before you can turn your job into a career which will provide stability and benefits for you and your family.

But taking classes while working and taking care of a family is much harder than attending college after high school would have been.

2. Hard Now, Easy Later

You choose to delay gratification and realize long term goals.

Your career is just starting and it’s nice to have a decent salary. But instead of spending every extra cent, you cut down your lifestyle so you can automatically set aside money from every paycheck for retirement.

When it’s time to retire, you have a large nest egg thanks to the beauty of compound interest over many years! Now you can easily buy a vacation house in cash and spend most of the year traveling to see family and friends.

Though you remember how hard it was to save for retirement, you now enjoy the fruits of your hard work and can retire in luxury.

Now What?

We encounter decisions like this every day which have huge long term impact. But we are tempted to take a candy bar now, forfeiting a feast later.

I’ve studied many people I want to be like, and they consistently chose the harder decision first. They delayed gratification in order to aim for something much bigger and more important.

I see people destroying careers and families and friendships. I see people caught in a cycle of trying to please others.

An enemy is among us.

The enemy is so sly and cunning that we hardly think of it. Yet it infiltrates our thoughts and actions.

It enslaves us in a whirlpool of victimization and self-pity. Or, it drives us to demand perfection and endless service from others, never content with the world around us.

We are slaves to pride, and it shows.

Pride is why we can’t stand to lose an argument. Or be caught doing something wrong. Or not appear to have it all together. Or send food back to the kitchen.

Pride is why we mock our wives to get approval from coworkers. And why we buy new cars for the heck of it. And why we over-commit.

And why we lie. And why we drink too much. And why we are late all the time, making everyone else wait for us.

It is why we complain more than compliment, criticize instead of encourage, and correct others in public.

Pride.

It’s tearing us apart — and it makes me sick.

I’m officially declaring war on you, pride.

I was a at a retreat with my friends during high school when I learned the concept of garbage.

At least a dozen of us were sleeping in bunk bed. One of my friends had fallen asleep and was already dreaming.

Suddenly, my friend let out a loud curse word — in his sleep! He doesn’t remember doing it, but the rest of us heard him loud and clear.

The next day our leader talked about what happened, and reminded us of something he had told us many times before.

“Garbage in — garbage out.”

That curse word spoken in my friend dreamed was symbolic of the garbage we feed our minds every day.

And later, our minds will produce that same garbage — whether we like it or not!

It’s interesting how obsessed we are with healthy food and dieting. We passionately avoid eating garbage — or we eat all the garbage we can and find ourselves jumping in with the latest diet trend to save our dignity.

It’s also interesting how obsessed we are with preserving the environment. We make it a priority to use environmentally friendly products and recycle garbage.

But shouldn’t we be concerned with the garbage we feed our minds?

We are careless about what we watch on TV, what we read in magazines, what we discuss with others, and what we think about.

And yet, we are somehow surprised when garbage comes out unexpectedly.

Whatever we feeds our minds will eventually come out. We either filter it on the way in, or fight it on the way out.