A friend said with a smirk, “Are you going to buy a brand new car? You should. You should definitely buy a new car.” Even though she knew wife and I were looking to replace our tired old Camry with a nicer used car.
Despite knowing my bent away from debt, she was serious. She fully believes it is a good deal to buy a new car. Low payments. No miles, problems, or repairs for many months.
Andrew was not on board.
First, I disagree with how she rationalized the decision. (Note how rationalize is pronounced “rational lies.”) I later learned she was about to buy her own new car and wanted me to do the same to affirm her decision.
Second, I better realized just how expensive people pleasing is.
Cause that’s what was at stake — someone’s approval.
Oh no. What if she doesn’t approve of me buying a used car?
If I had bent my will trying to please her, it would have cost me five years of new car payments. Not to mention the steep depreciation. On a car I didn’t particularly need or want, no less. Ouch!
Who can afford this madness?
We have reinforced a culture which programs us to be slaves to people pleasing. Heck, we beg banks to let us go into debt so we can try to please others.
We buy things we don’t need with money we don’t have to impress people we don’t like.
—Dave Ramsey (No, it’s not the quote from Fight Club.)
Keeping up with the Joneses isn’t just expensive — it’s nuts. Let’s just say you do get the Jones family to like you because you spend money in ways they approve.
But then the Smiths will hate you for it.
Are you a people pleaser? What is the cost?