You feel like an awful, despicable monster. You were hiding your terrible past, suffering all alone.
But you finally decided to tell a few friends you trust, as we discussed in the last post.
So what’s next?
You’re still an awful, despicable monster, it’s just that now your friends know all about it. How is this any better?
It is worlds better than suffering in quiet isolation.
Let’s think about it together.
Say your vice is sugar. When you are upset, angry, lonely, or even bored, you eat sugar. It used to be an occasional treat, but your sweet tooth is beginning to control you. You find yourself sneaking sugary snacks many times in the day, even during short drives in the car!
There’s always a soda in your hand, and you have candy stashed in your pockets, car, and desk drawer.
You can’t tell anyone. No one would understand anyway, and they would just judge you for being so weak. Yet it’s miserable keeping it to yourself. To make yourself feel better, you turn to your pal sugar once again.
You feel miserable for losing the battle against temptation once again. You’re gaining weight fast, and now you feel even more miserable for that, too.
So you turn back to sugar.
You finally get brave and tell a solid friend you trust, prepared for her to be disgusted with you. She’s surprised, but she isn’t going anywhere. She is glad you told her and is there beside you while you deal with the problem.
The wave of relief you feel from being totally honest is amazing. The problem is still there, but you have begun to defuse the bomb.
Your friend encourages you to tell a mentor and other good friends. Cautiously, you do, and it helps. Hope is visible in the distance.
You still feel miserable, but you are no longer alone.
And now, if nothing else, your friends can trust you.
You lied to everyone before. Yet they can start believing you again. They can trust you when you say you are avoiding sugar and eating better. Or when you are giving in again. They can work with your honesty.
Which is much better than before, when they knew you were hiding something and they couldn’t trust you at all.
At least they can trust you. That’s huge.
Would your good friends disown you if they knew you were struggling with something? How would it feel to be thoroughly trusted by them?