Look busy so your coworkers know you work hard! Carry papers and rush everywhere to show how productive you are.

I once knew a man named Nigel who was excellent at this concept. Nigel’s desk was always overcome with strewn paperwork and overlapping sticky notes. He could not stop sweating profusely, which added to his persona of busyness and being an extremely hard worker.

The best word to describe Nigel’s work habits? Frantic.

Every decision was stressful, and every action was really a knee-jerk reaction breeding chaos.

He was continually late for his next appointment, so he rushed up and down the halls. Always in his hands were several papers and on his face a worried, stressed look. Predictably, Nigel’s car was filled with trash and gadgets, and his apartment looked like a hurricane had blown the contents of an office supply store into loose piles everywhere.

As the boss, you absolutely MUST look busy to teach those underneath you how to work hard. You must “out-work” others to raise the bar of excellence. You must always have your calendar booked. You must come in rushed — or very late, to show that you were “working from home” — and call out demands while running around the office. Always have documents in your hand to show employees how to be busy and work hard, even on your way to the restroom.

To be even more effective, talk on your cell phone constantly. Even while walking around with papers and giving orders to others. This is the ideal model of busyness and efficiency.

If you seem calm and organized, you are giving off the wrong impressions. Just think about it: How can anyone be calm and productive at the same time?!

If that describes you, you’re doing it wrong.

You don’t have to actually be the hardest worker in the office, but you must look like it. To be the best, make sure you out-work everyone else. Be like Nigel.

Productively,
W. Albert Jameson, IV